


Life is hard when you're Canadian

by panpipe



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-22
Updated: 2008-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry spends a lot of time on the phone with his friend from high school, trying to convince him that Ryeowook isn't a rapist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life is hard when you're Canadian

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://panpipe.livejournal.com/68044.html#cutid1).

"Dude, I googled you last night and that's some weird shit you're doing in China," a voice says over the speakerphone.

Henry squeaks ("DID YOU JUST SQUEAK? WHEN DID YOU START SQUEAKING?" the voice says loudly) and shuts off the speakerphone. Not that anyone in the room can understand what David, his best friend in Canada, just said, but, you know. It's the _principle_ of the thing.

"Seriously though," David continues once Henry assures him that no, he didn't squeak (which is a total lie obviously but it seems to reassure him). " _Fat suits_? And why was that one dude lifting up your sumo skirt? That's totally creepy. You should watch out for him; I bet he's planning on raping you in the middle of the night. Sleep with a baseball bat or something."

Henry tries to insist that no, Ryeowook would never do that, he's really really nice, and that he's been sleeping in the same room as Ryeowook for the entire time he's been in China and he hasn't once tried to rape him.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE," David shouts, so loudly that Henry has to hold the phone away from his ear. "I bet he's like, biding his time. Maybe he even masturbates to the thought of you sleeping next to him. Seriously, I'd watch out if I were you, I bet he hasn't gotten laid in forever so he's desperate."

Henry shifts in his seat uncomfortably. Ryeowook shoots him a concerned look, and that just makes Henry even more uncomfortable. "I'm going to finish this phone call in my room," he says in awkward Korean.

"Yo man what did you say just say? English please."

Henry huffs angrily. This is the first phone call he has received from David since arriving in China, and the last phone call he'd gotten from him had been ages before Henry had even heard about being part of SJM, and he _really_ doesn't understand how David thinks he can be this rude to Henry when they haven't talked in forever. Then again, David was always a little self-centered. "I just told them I was leaving the room."

"Oh, I didn't realize you were with the others when I called. Was I interrupting something? That alien guy raping you, perhaps?"

"RYEOWOOK IS NOT A RAPIST," Henry screams, just as Ryeowook opens the door to his room, holding out a brownie.

"Er," he says awkwardly. "The staff brought us some food, I just. I just thought you might want some." He looks like he just wants to drop the brownie and run away but instead he manages to calmly walk to Henry's bed, set it down on a napkin, and walk slowly out the door.

After a long silence, David's voice crackles over the phone with: "Dude, what did you just say? I told you I don't speak Korean or Chinese or any of those crazy languages."

Henry's breath catches, and he feels like there's no air. "Oh god," Henry says as he comes to the horrifying realization that he just said "rapist" and "Ryeowook" in a sentence in a language that Ryeowook could understand, _right as Ryeowook walked into his room_. "Oh my god, I hate you so much right now, David."

"What? What happened? HE HASN'T RAPED YOU HAS HE? HOW DARE HE RAPE YOU WHILE I'M ON THE PHONE WITH YOU," he screams. Henry hangs up on him.

 

Henry's not sure what to do. Does he take Ryeowook to the side of the room during a rehearsal break and tell him that it was all a misunderstanding, no one thinks Ryeowook is a rapist? Does he ignore the whole thing? Will Ryeowook think that Henry now thinks he's a rapist? What if Ryeowook stops touching him all the time? Henry blinks. That sounded way creepier than he'd meant it too. Seriously though, he thinks, Ryeowook being around him, and comfortable enough to touch him and do that weird fanservice stuff with him had meant a lot to him, like maybe this could be home, for a little while at least, like maybe there weren't thousands of fangirls screaming ONLY 13 whenever he performed.

He's decided to try and sort things out with Ryeowook during break when suddenly one of the staff lightly touches his shoulder and says he has a phone call from Canada.

"David," Henry says in his best I'm-really-angry-right-now-this-is-a-bad-time voice. "What now."

"This isn't David," a female voice says. "This is Carrie. What's up, Henry? We haven't talked in forever!"

Henry blinks. "Oh, nothing much. I have a lot of rehearsals and TV appearances. My Chinese is getting better."

"I'm sure your mom is happy to hear that," she says, her voice sweet. Henry almost thinks this is going to be a really nice conversation, but then her tone changes to amused and animated and she says, "David told me you were getting raped. We all know he overreacts all the time, so what's really happening? IS ONE OF THE GUYS THERE HITTING ON YOU, THAT'S SO _CUTE_."

Henry cradles his face in his hands and mutters, "I'm going to kill him."

 

David calls again when Henry's finally been able to forget the last unfortunate phone call. Ryeowook, it appears, has also been able to forget the phone call, because even though he was awkward around Henry for a while, things are back to normal. He even gave Henry a piggyback ride the other day. Henry flushes happily at the memory.

"DUDE," David shouts. "I SEARCHED YOU AGAIN THE OTHER DAY AND I FOUND THIS SITE ON LIVEJOURNAL AND THERE ARE ALL THESE PHOTOS OF YOU HANGING ALL OVER THE RAPIST. ARE YOU SYMPATHIZING WITH YOUR ATTACKER? DON'T DO THAT, HENRY, YOU CAN ESCAPE TO CANADA, WE'LL KEEP YOU SAFE FROM HIM."

Henry hangs up. Later that night, he looks up LiveJournal but quickly clicks away when he finds this thing where all these people are writing about him having sex with the rest of Super Junior-M. He can't look any of them in the eye for days.

 

"I'm sorry," David says the next time he calls.

"Yeah, you should be," Henry replies.

"I still think he's raping you."

"HE'S NOT RAPING ME," Henry shouts. "THEY JUST DO THESE SORTS OF THINGS HERE."

"OH MY GOD," David shouts back. "YOU'RE HAVING GAY ORGIES ALL THE TIME, AREN'T YOU? OH MY GOD."

"Call me back when you're thinking more sensibly, you fucking idiot," Henry says, and hangs up.

 

Todd, another one of their friends, calls him about an hour after David does. "Hey," he says. "What's up with all the gayness on Asian TV?"

Henry wants to scream for the 123434827th time that week _alone_. "Please tell me you haven't been talking to David," he says.

"Oh, I have been. Don't worry, I don't think you're being raped. After all, if you are having sex with that guy, it looks like it would be consensual from the youtubes I've watched." Henry's really glad Todd can't see his face, because it turns utterly, completely, totally _beet red_. He stutters, but thankfully it's soft enough that Todd doesn't notice and continues talking. "Actually I just wanted to call and talk about those sumo suits." Todd laughs and says jokingly, "You looked really hot in that, by the way."

"If I weren't thousands of miles away, I'd totally punch you right now," Henry says. He doesn't mention that he thought Ryeowook actually looked really cute in the fat suit, but then again, Henry's come to realize that he always finds Ryeowook really cute.

 

"Why are you always touching his face like that," David says angrily. Henry thinks about how he'd been upset before that David didn't call very often, and wishes he'd known then what he knows now. David is fucking annoying and won't shut up and he can't wait until David gets over this thing with Ryeowook and stops calling all the time. "You're encouraging his advances. AND YOU TOUCH HIM RIGHT BACK OH MY GOD MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE RAPING _HIM_."

"I'M NOT RAPING RYEOWOOK, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT," Henry shouts back.

"Dude, didn't I tell you to stop speaking to me in Korean?"

Henry hears a plate drop outside his door and break. "Hold on a minute," he says, half angry, half nervous at what he's about to find outside his door.

It's exactly what he feared. Ryeowook is picking up the shards of the plate, and staff are running over to help him. Ryeowook looks up at Henry, and Henry's not really sure what he sees in Ryeowook's face, but it isn't normal and Henry decides that the next time he goes to Canada, the first thing he'll do is break David's nose.

 

"Look," David says the next time he calls. "Todd told me I should be nicer about this, so like, I guess, like, I give you permission to date the alien."

"I cannot believe you have the nerve to tell me _I'm allowed to date someone_ , what are you, my mother?"

"I AM JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU," David screams. "YOU'RE TOO INNOCENT, YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT PEOPLE WHO MAKE ADVANCES LIKE THAT WANT SOMETHING IN RETURN."

"RYEOWOOK ISN'T LIKE THAT," Henry yells. "HE'S A REALLY NICE GUY."

"YEAH, UNTIL HE RAPES YOU."

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE HE WAS A RAPIST ANYMORE."

"HE PRACTICALLY _LEERS_ AT YOU," David says, shouting so loudly that it's more like squawking. "OF COURSE HE'S A RAPIST."

"I REALLY LIKE RYEOWOOK AND I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D STOP CALLING HIM A RAPIST," Henry screams. The words sound strange on his lips, and his suspicion that he yet again was speaking something other than English is confirmed when David asks him to repeat what he just said. Henry doesn't respond, just hangs up the phone.

A few moments of silence later, and he hears a knock at the door. Henry gulps, afraid that Ryeowook heard what he said; he thought it had been Chinese he'd spoken in, but maybe he's wrong, after all, he always seems to speak Korean at exactly the wrong moment and--

It's Hankyung. Han Geng. Henry really hates how they all have two different names in Korea and in China. As if it wasn't confusing enough already.

"Might I ask," he starts awkwardly, "why you are discussing Ryeowook being a rapist?"

Henry thinks, well, at least I was speaking Chinese instead of Korean for once. He stares at Hankyung, then shrugs. "It's really nothing, just one of my friends back home thinks Ryeowook wants to rape me." He tries to be nonchalant, but it's hard to sound nonchalant when you're talking about one of your best friends thinking your new friend is a rapist.

"Oh," he says simply. "Well, maybe you should at least repeat the first part of that sentence to him." Henry stares at him blankly, not sure what he means. Hankyung blushes, because this really is an awkward conversation, and says, "The part about really liking him. I think he'd like to hear that."

 

"I really like you and I don't think you're a rapist. My friend David does, but I'm sure he'll get over it eventually," Henry says one evening, as they're lying in their beds trying to fall asleep.

Henry hears Ryeowook stop breathing, and then hears him pull the covers over his head. "Oh," he says, the sound muffled. " _Oh_." There's relief in his voice now. "I really like you too," he says softly.

 

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DATING A RAPIST," David shouts when Henry tells him the news. It's so loud that everyone in the room can hear David's words clearly (though they don't understand what he's just said) and Ryeowook looks at Henry, and grins lopsidedly. Henry grins back, and hangs up the phone.


End file.
